Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize