so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
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we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
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Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
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