He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize