Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
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She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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