Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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