is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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