I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize