I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
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