i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize