he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize