Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Randomize