every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize