i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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