Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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