toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
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He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
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Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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