Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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