Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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