So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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