some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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