P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
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What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
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Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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