Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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