Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
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theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
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Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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