He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
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She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
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Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
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