I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
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