did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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