If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
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Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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