I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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