finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe in your delicious
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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