I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
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