I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
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I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
so much tequila, so little girl.
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I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize