You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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