I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
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if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I party with great urgency now.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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