Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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