So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
there's paper in my vomit.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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