Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize