just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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