We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize