it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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