I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
try to milk me bitch
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