if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize