I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize