I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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