Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What drink are we having for lunch?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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