everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize