I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize