I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
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