the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
