but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
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