repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
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the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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