Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize