really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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